Saturday, November 21, 2009
Had a splendid dinner wif my darling~ =] and walked home afterwards.i tried to find the longest way to reach home.. i tried my best but i did not take more than half hour.. did some reflection on the way.. yea, i did not try hard enough.. if i did i would not have showed my emotions.. how could i fail? guess i just need more time.. i can do it. i've decided..i must be strong.. i will not rely on others because someday, i still have to depend on myself.. though i have supports from friends and family, sometimes its inevitable to stand by myself.. anw, while walking home i saw this small kitten.. it was all wet and i duno if it was dead or what but it looked pathetic. probably even more pathetic than me. suddenly feel sad for it.. when im feeling down, i really show sympathy.. when im feeling down, everything seems so dull and plain and.. dead.. guess i have no say, no rights to feel angry or what.. but nobody can bully me.. i control my own emotions.. im only interested in what i do and no others. there are some things i dun understand.. but, i do not wish to understand either. yes, im going to change my mindset.. the previous simple thinking isn't going to get me anywhere, i figured..i shouldn't notice too much.. in another words, im trying to say i was too busybody previously.. yea i admit. really, intruding into other ppl's zone.. its not gonna happen anymore.. god, take away my feelings so i won't have to feel anything.. im terribly upset but nobody will understand. maybe im just too self-centered..or maybe they are too busy to understand.. maybe..maybe nobody will understand. i will understand myself then.......
stitch said at 8:27 PM
